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"I desire mercy, not sacrifice"

These are the words of Jesus.

I desire mercy, not sacrifice

He told them... "Go and learn what this means."
He says it twice, in Matthew 9 and in Matthew 13.
But those words had never stood out to me before. I had heard and read the stories surrounding this phrase that Jesus said. But these words.... I desire mercy, not sacrifice, I had never taken much attention to.


On February 29th, I'd just got home from class and I was sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee, and I just felt God drawing me near to Him. It had been a while since I really met with Him. I do my regular devotionals, Bible study, and prayers for about 10-20 minutes each night before I go to bed, but it was becoming ritualistic. What was I doing? He wants more than that. And I should, too. I told myself I would grab my Bible and have some serious quiet time with Him that day. But first I jumped online to check my email.  I get some devotionals and blog updates sent to my email. One of the blogs is by Sara from everybitterthingissweet.com. On that day, through her words, again I could feel God urging me to come to Him. So I got off the computer. I could so strongly feel God telling me, "Come." So, I grabbed my Bible and my notebook, went out and sat in the sun room of our little condo, opened up the windows, and pressed play to the Jon Thurlow- Anointed One CD.


About a year or so ago, I challenged myself to read God's word for my self. I had been using a daily devotional book for my quiet time for a couple years- it had one or two Bible verses and then a few paragraphs of encouragement or a lesson. But I rarely picked up my Bible to read it for myself. Then I began to hunger more, I had questions, I wanted to know His Word for myself, I wanted to be closer to Him. So that's when I challenged myself to read it, front to back, for myself.


I read from Genesis to Judges. Then jumped to the New Testament. I had recently just finished reading through the New Testament, and planned on picking up where I left off in the Old Testament at Judges. But on this day, I decided to start reading in Matthew again. I'm pretty positive God made my Bible plop open to the first of Matthew. So I started reading. I read about Jesus' birth, and when Satan tempts Jesus, and Jesus' teachings about salt and light, the law, prayer, money, and so on. Then I find myself in Matthew 9. Jesus heals a paralyzed man. I had heard this story before. But I notice this time that it says "When Jesus saw their faith." and their faith healed him. And Jesus says, "your sins are forgiven". He was not only concerned with his physical state but his spiritual state. I keep reading. Jesus goes on and eats at Matthew's house with the disciples, tax collectors and the sinners. When the Pharisees {"the strict followers of God's law"} saw this, they questioned why Jesus would eat with the sinners. Jesus's reply was this... "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. Now go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but the sinners." Well I remember the part about its not the healthy that need the doctor, but the sick, but this was the first time that I really noticed that Jesus said "I desire mercy, not sacrifice." And He said "Go and learn what it means." So I decided to learn what it means.




Mercy is defined as forgiveness and compassion. Jesus desires forgiveness, which means to pardon ones sins, to free or clear from a charge or accusation, to release from debt, a state of being found not guilty. Jesus frees us from our sin, our filth, our debt, our guilt. He makes us free. He desires compassion. Compassion is defined as loving sympathy and empathy, a feeling of deep care, deep awareness and understanding of the suffering of another, with the desire to help, to relieve, to alleviate their suffering, to do something about it. Jesus desires this mercy.


He desires forgiveness, not judgement. He desires compassion, care, love, awareness, and understanding of others suffering, with the desire to do something about it. I want to do something about it. Not just sit on the sidelines and watch, expect other people to do it, or only be concerned with myself and my life.


"I desire mercy, not sacrifice."


It says He does not want sacrifice. If you look at other places in the Bible where God is talking to His people about meaningless sacrifices and burnt offerings, you can see what He means. {1 Samuel 15:22-25, Psalm 40:6-8, Hosea 6:6, Isaiah 1:11-17, Jeremiah 7:21-23, Proverbs 21:3, Psalm 51:16-17, Micah 6:6-8}    The Lord does not delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying His voice. God wanted people to make sacrifices in the past, not because it pleased Him, but because they caused people to recognize their sin, repent, and refocus on living for God. They faithfully made the sacrifices but they forgot the reason they were offering them, and thus they disobeyed God and were falling away from Him. Jeremiah reminded the people that religious rituals and going through the motions were meaningless. In Isaiah 1 they were bringing meaningless offerings and their prayers were only ritualistic, where was their heart? God said when they offered their prayers to Him, He would not listen. He said "Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow!" Micah 6:8 says "What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." That's the key. Jesus said in Mark 12 that the most important law was to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. And Hebrews 10 he reminds us again... sacrifices and offerings did not please Him, He simple wants us to obey Him, to do His will. And what is His will? Walk with Him, have mercy, forgiveness, and compassion.


God showed me that my time with Him had become ritualistic. He wanted my whole heart and my whole time. A new friend's words seemed to say it perfectly, "{He revealed} truths about how one can become so focused on "working for Him" that we loose the greatest joy that comes from "being with Him". He is still speaking, gently restoring and establishing me fully in His love!!!" I don't want to be so focused on working for Him and doing ritualistic prayer and study time and going through the motions and doing "right" that I forget to love, that I forget to have mercy and compassion, and most of all... to be with Him. The abundance of joy in being with Him.


The next day I pick up where I left off at Matthew 9, and continue on and get to Matthew 12. Jesus and the disciples are walking through a grain field on a Sabbath. As they walked, they were hungry so they picked some heads of grain and ate them. The Pharisees were upset that the disciples were "harvesting on the Sabbath" and accused them of being unlawful. Jesus replied "Haven’t you read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? He entered the house of God, and he and his companions ate the consecrated bread—which was not lawful for them to do, but only for the priests. Or haven’t you read in the Law that the priests on Sabbath duty in the temple desecrate the Sabbath and yet are innocent? I tell you that something greater than the temple is here. If you had known what these words mean, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the innocent. For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.”


He said it again "I desire mercy, not sacrifice." 


I go back to Isaiah 1 again. God wants mercy not sacrifice. And He says, "Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless. Plead the case of the widow."


He brought me back to His presence. I could feel God confirming the path He has us on.


"He will teach us his ways, so that we may walk his paths. Isaiah 2:3"


He revealed to me that I was slowly withdrawing from Him in my ritualistic ways, and He brought me back to Him. And He reassured me of His path He has us walking down with Kenya with the focus on love and compassion. Have love, be merciful, compassionate, defend the cause of the fatherless, defend the weak, plead the case of the widow. Be with Him. He is our God and we are His people. I don't want to miss out on the greatest joy of being with Him.


I desire mercy, love, compassion... not sacrifice, rituals, empty prayer, and going through the motions. He wants all of me.


Micah 6:8 says "What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

I desire mercy, not sacrifice

Quick update

Just a short update! 

We are excited that we finally got our flights for Haiti booked last week! 

May 20th through June 2nd. 

We are so excited to visit the Brewers and get a little bit of training and see the ministry that God used them to build and pick their brains. I know we can learn so much from them. 

We haven't book our flights yet for Kenya but we are planning on leaving the last week of July and coming back the last week of May 2013. His plans are slowly being revealed and we are gradually getting organized. We are so excited! 

We only have a little more than 1/3 of our support raised but we know God will provide in His perfect timing. 


{Psalm 37, Matthew 6:25-34, Acts 1:7, Hebrews 4:16, 1 John 4:18, Psalm 100:5}

Thank you! - Jackson's school fees

I just wanted to say thank you so so much to everyone that sent in money for Jackson's school fees. I got an email today confirming they received the money and is able to stay in school! Such a blessing to see God working in so many people. His brother emailed me saying "I still thank you and the others so much for supporting Jackson and others here in Kenya. All support is highly appreciated by me,Jackson and the whole family." Thanks everyone!! There are so so many more that need support. Check out the sponsor page. (This first pic was taken in 2009 when he first told me about his dreams of going back to highschool to help support his family, how amazing that this his 3rd year back. God is so good. He makes dreams come true :D )

 

    

Acknowledging that the Most High is sovereign. And He invites us into His story.

Tim, my husband, leads the College small group on Wednesday nights, and his lesson last week has been on my mind a lot this week. I thought I’d share with you.

He read some from Daniel 4 about King Nebuchadnezzar. He was a king with a palace, content and prosperous. He had a dream that made him afraid, so he had all the wise men of Babylon to come before him and interpret his dream, but none of them could interpret his dream. Finally Daniel (also known as Beltechazzar) came to the king. King Nebuchadnezzar was aware that Daniel had in him the spirit of the holy God, and he told Daniel his dream. In the dream, King Nebuchadnezzar saw a great and tall tree that touched the sky. It was abundant in fruit, the beasts of the earth found shelter under it, and the birds lived in its branches. From the tree, every creature was fed. Then he saw a messanger come down from heavan and told him to strip down and cut off the tree, leaving only the stump to be drenched, and let him live with the animals and among the plants.

Daniel was greatly perplexed and confused, for the dream terrified him. Daniel told the king “You, oh king, are that tree! You have become great and strong and your greatness has grown until it reaches the sky and your dominion extends to the distant parts of the earth. The messanger, a holy one, said to cut down the tree and destroy it, but leave the stump, let him be drenched with dew of heaven, let him live like the wild animals until seven times pass by for him until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign.”  Daniel told the king to renounce his sins by doing what is right, and renounce his wickedness by being king for the oppressed. 

Only a year later, King Nebuchadnezzar walked around his palace saying “I have built this Babylon as my royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty.” Then a voice came from heaven and said “Your royal authority has been taken from you, you will be driven away and live with the animals until seven times pass by and you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms and gives them to anyone he wishes.” Immediately, this was fulfilled. He was driven away from people and ate grass like the ox. His body was drenched with the dew of heaven until his hair grew like the feathers of an eagle and his nails like the claws of a bird.

At the end of that time, Nebuchadnezzar raised his eyes toward heaven and his understanding was restored and he praised the Most High. And this is what he said:

“His dominion is an eternal dominion;

His kingdom endures from generation to generation.

All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing.

He does as he pleases

With the powers of heaven

And the peoples of the earth.

No one can hold back his hand

Or say to him “What have you done?””

At that time, the kingdom was returned to Nebuchadnezzar. He was restored and became greater than before. “Now, I, King Nebuchadnezzar praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right all his ways are just. Those who walk in pride, He is able to make humble.”

This is not our story. It is God’s story. We can not invite Him into our plans or our story. This is His story. And He invites us to be a part of it. He invites us into His life and His plans. We can't create our own plans and leave God out, and we can't even make up our own plans and ask God to come into them. Our part is to be obedient to His plans! We need to acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign, ruler of all, independent, self governing, supreme, superior, the Most High, our Lord of Lords, and our Savior. Tim heard a story from one of Francis Chan’s videos. There was a girl getting ready to speak, and she was really nervous saying, “God please show up when I’m speaking, show up in that room, God please”, then the thought occurred to her,  God is saying, “Hey, this is My party, and I invited you.” Francis said “I know I’m always saying God please show up , and God’s saying “No, I'm already here. Don't you know that this is my party, not yours, you should be glad that I invited you into it. I’m gonna do what I’m gonna do, and you should be thankful that I invited you to be a piece of that.” We’ve got to realize that He is so sovereign, He is in control of everything, He already has plans, and he just invites us into them, and we are called to simply be obedient!  Really amazing, huh?

Then we go to Isaiah 40. (Hang in there, this is good.) This is long but please read through it.

Starting at verse 6 (Emphasis added)

“A voice says “Cry out”

And I said, “What shall I cry?”

   “All people are like grass,
   and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
⁷ The grass withers and the flowers fall,
   because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
   Surely the people are grass.
⁸ The grass withers and the flowers fall,
   but the word of our God endures forever.”

 ⁹ You who bring good news to Zion,
   go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good news to Jerusalem,^[c]
   lift up your voice with a shout,
lift it up, do not be afraid; 
   say to the towns of Judah,
   “Here is your God!”
¹⁰ See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,
   and he rules with a mighty arm.
See, his reward is with him,
   and his recompense accompanies him.
¹¹ He tends his flock like a shepherd:
   He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
   he gently leads those that have young.

 ¹² Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
   or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
   or weighed the mountains on the scales
   and the hills in a balance?
¹³ Who can fathom the Spirit^[d] of the LORD,
   or instruct the LORD as his counselor?
¹⁴ Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
   and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge,
   or showed him the path of understanding?

 ¹⁵ Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
   they are regarded as dust on the scales;
   he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.
¹⁶ Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires,
   nor its animals enough for burnt offerings.
¹⁷ Before him all the nations are as nothing;
   they are regarded by him as worthless
   and less than nothing.

 ¹⁸ With whom, then, will you compare God?
   To what image will you liken him?
¹⁹ As for an idol, a metalworker casts it,
   and a goldsmith overlays it with gold
   and fashions silver chains for it.
²⁰ A person too poor to present such an offering
   selects wood that will not rot;
they look for a skilled worker
   to set up an idol that will not topple.

 ²¹ Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
   Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
²² He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
   and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
   and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
²³ He brings princes to naught
   and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.
²⁴ No sooner are they planted,
   no sooner are they sown,
   no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
   and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

 ²⁵ “To whom will you compare me?
   Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.
²⁶ Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
   Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
   and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
   not one of them is missing.

 ²⁷ Why do you complain, Jacob?
   Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the LORD;
   my cause is disregarded by my God”?
²⁸ Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.

Wow. Did you read that? AMAZING! God, who has all authority, who holds the world in the palm of his hand, placed the stars in the sky in perfect position, he sees us as little bitty grasshoppers, or like a small blade of grass that withers when his breath blows on us,  he holds the dust of the earth in a basket, the nations are like a drop in a bucket. He is sovereign, he is power, his ways pass up all our understanding, he does not grow tired or weary. He can merely blow on any of us, and we wither. The rulers with too much pride or power, he can blow on them and they wither, just like Nebuchadnezzar. The Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms and gives them to anyone he wishes. He is God. And he has all authority. No one can hold back his hand. He is sovereign.

And yet… he holds little bitty nothingness us in his arms and keeps us close to his heart. We are so weak, but he gives us strength. He keeps us from stumbling and falling. Any ounce of power we have, he gives it to us. And he can take it away, just as we saw with Nebuchadnezzar. And he restores us and humbles us, and we will recognize him as the Most High. He is sovereign. Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

This has changed my prayer life recently. Often, some of my prayers sound like this, “God, please show up today in service,” or “give me the words to say and boldness to say it.” My perspective has changed. Remember? This is not our story. It is God’s story. We can not invite Him into our our plans or our story. This is His story. And He invites us into it. He invites us to have a part of His plans. My prayer should be more about just giving Him glory, whatever it takes, and praying that I will walk in obedience. When I hear that little whisper to go tell someone about his grace and love, or to speak to me today in the service… I just have to be obedient and walk down the narrow path he has laid out long before me, I just have to have my heart and my ears open to his word and his voice. 

And lastly, Matthew 28. There is a new twist to it that I know I haven’t picked up on before until Tim pointed it out. Starting with verse 18:

“ Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

ALL AUTHORITY. All of it. All that authority that we just talked about, was given to Jesus. He is sovereign, ruler of all, independent, self-governing, self-sufficient, supreme, superior, paramount, the Most High, he is our Lord. This is His story, His plans, and He has all authority…. And gives us a command, He gives little bitty me, a single blade of grass, a little weak lamb that he holds near to his heart...He gives me a command?

With all of His authority, He says

Go. Make disciples of all nations.

Teach them everything I have commanded you.

And He is with us, always, to the very end of the age. 

His plans, not mine

Isaiah 48:17

This is what the LORD says—
   your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“I am the LORD your God,
   who teaches you what is best for you,
   who directs you in the way you should go.
 If only you had paid attention to my commands,
   your peace would have been like a river,
   your well-being like the waves of the sea.
Your descendants would have been like the sand,
   your children like its numberless grains;
their name would never be blotted out
   nor destroyed from before me.”

Heard on the radio today about plans. How often times we make plans in which we know we can carry out on our own. But sometimes maybe that is robbing God of His glory. He might have definitely has different, bigger, so amazing and marvelous plans.

I believe God plants ideas in our hearts and minds and I know I often grab them and think “OHH GOOD IDEA!” and then turn around and try to figure out how to do it… and eventually I alter, squash, compress, and minimize the plans God has. So now, I am able to accomplish this task God has put in front of me. But now it’s not His, I’ve made it mine, and it’s a lot different and not so good anymore.  So maybe it was never mine to start with! Of course it wasn’t!!!!....It was HIS. And it would have been so amazing if I hadn't changed everything. And I would have seen His hands move, and I would have grown closer to Him through seeking His will and becoming dependant on Him. It becomes easy for us to underestimate His power. We have become so dependent on ourselves and shove God to the backburner in our lives until we think we need Him. I wonder what it would be like to step back and let God shape the plans and for us to just simply walk in obedience… to “walk down the path that God has laid out right in front of us.” Instead, I am straying from the path, no, it’s more like running wild away from His direction, lost in the woods, and then I fall into a raging river and then I realize… “Ooops, this isn’t quite right.” I should let His seemingly impossible plans just be… be as He intended. And we can't do it on our own, to carry out those plans, to accomplish His goals. But isn't that the point!? I think what He wants is for me to just look to Him, let Him lead the way, and just follow and praise Him.  Praise Him for allowing me to have a small part of His plans, to be used as His hands and feet, but mostly to just see His work, to feel His sweet spirit, to see lives changes, and to magnify and glorify His great name. I want to watch HIM put the pieces together, and I will know, and I will see, that it was His hands and I will praise Him! I will know that it was all His doing, and not mine. His plans will result in such magnificent and beautiful things that the only thing I can do is step back in look in awe of what He's done and praise Him. All the honor and glory will go straight to Him. Yes. I want to see His plans, not mine. It's all about you, Jesus. 

Thankful that God used K love on the radio today to lovingly put me back on the path!

Philippians 4:13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength

Psalm 118:8 “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your path.

Matthew 6:33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;

Update on direction! (Accepted into WIM)

Well Tim and I have been in Texas this week meeting with a Christian missionary organization that works all around the world. We had been praying about rather to start our own non-profit organization or joining another missionary organization and God brought us here to Texas to figure it out. He connected us to them through the Brewers who are from our area in Tennessee but are missionaries living and working in Haiti. So the Brewers told us about this organization, WIM (World Indigenous Missions). We have been communicating with them for a few months and finally decided to make a trip to Texas to learn more and get to know each other and do some interviews and orientation and a taste of training, etc. The week has been busy from sun up to sun down with a truck load of information and 4 interviews a piece. Quite exhausting and just a bit overwhelming. BUT. We prayed and prayed and last night got down and prayed some more and we felt like God brought us here for a purpose. Our plans are a little different than those of most of the missionaries that work through them, but they said they hear God telling them that we are His and part of the plan here. SO, we are ACCEPTED and will eventually be full time, long-term missionaries partnered with WIM!!! :) They see the potential in us and our plans which are slowly by slowly are being revealed and shaped like clay by the Potter's hands. 

SO EXCITED!!!!  And a lot of work ahead of us! But we are so thankful that God has brought us to this point and brought us together with this organization. They show us that they really love and serve the Lord with their whole heart, and that's exactly what we want to do. So thankful.

So, the plan....

Well for now, we have some training and reading and learning to do. We have a list of books to read before going back to the field. Some more meetings and training in Texas. We have a 3 week trip to plan for this summer in Haiti for some learning and training. Then in July or August, we will return to Kenya for a 1 year apprenticeship plus language learning. We will work with other missionaries in that area learning what works, what doesn't, training, experience, and just working along side of them to learn as much as we can so that we can start on our own. I will work in a couple of hospitals and clinics as part of training in Kenya to get some experience with Kenya's common illnesses and cure/treatments, where and how to get supplies, and all the legal aspects of having a clinic. We will work with a couple of different children's homes and schools. And, We will be discipled and learn how to disciple others to be intimate in their walk with Jesus and courageous leaders in their community and in their churches.

So, our vision....

So after all that, we feel God leading us to eventually have a small clinic. Maybe with basic health care, immunizations, wound care, etc. and especially malnutrition rehabilitation and teaching. We are still praying about how we will work with the orphaned children and street kids. So many different ways to do it, for example, we could : have an orphanage, OR place them with their/a family and offer support to help them to help establish an income generating project to be able to support the family and keep them together, OR take them in and adopt OR work with an adoption agency, OR start an orphan village with small houses of 4 or 5 children with house parents or house mom to give it a more family feel, and so on. That is something we are really praying about, seeking guidance, and hope that you will join us in prayer about it also. God has placed that need on our hearts and shown us how important it is to care for those children. We'll work with different children's homes and organizations and families to try to learn the most effective, scriptural, and spirit-led way to minister to the poor living situations and orphaned children and widows. There are other things that God has placed on our hearts to do but has not revealed us much details about them yet, which is probably good!! He know what He is doing and probably doesn't want us to totally stress out! We will just take it on one step at a time as God slowly prepares us, molds us, and opens doors and reveals HIS detailed plans. 

So there's the update for now! Thank you so much for taking the time to read about what's new in our journey walking with Jesus. 


Tim and Jenni

Photos by Willis Atieno from U.H.I.O. 

orphaned children outside of Kisumu, Kenya

Sarah

Thinking about Sarah a lot today and made this video. Enjoy

"Come follow me"

Matthew 4:18-20 "Come, follow me," Jesus said

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him. - Matthew 4:18-20 (NIV)


I often hear people say, “I'm not quite ready to follow Jesus.” Yet Jesus never asked us to pull ourselves together, then follow Him. Like the uneducated fishermen Simon and Andrew, Jesus called them to follow Him THEN he would make them fishers of men. Jesus did not chose them for their intellect, for fishermen of that day were simple people. He also did not chose them for their skill, for Jesus was about to redefine what fishing meant to these experienced fishermen. 


What excuses do we make in not following Jesus? It is neither our skill or lack of it that counts, but simply obeying when we hear the call.

(From thedailybibleverse.org from Pastor Dave Whitehead)

-------------------------------------------------------------

This reflects what I have been thinking a lot about this

past week. There is no excuse. 

What are we waiting for?

I have a desire to follow Him, to be obedient. 

But I often feel unequipped, or not ready just yet.

"I have to finish school, 

maybe I should work and get some experience first, 

start my own family first,
and get some special training or something..."

But He will use as if we just make ourselves available.

As Dave said above, Jesus would redefine what fishing meant to them.

They would become fishers of men.

When you say Yes to following Him,

He will redefine you. 

Take you and shape you.

He will guide you and use you.

And make you fishers of men. 

To Be A Neighbor

My husband with sweet Gladyss. 

Matthew 25:40 says "He will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.' " What this is saying, is what ever I do for others, I am doing for Him. If I chose to ignore the need around us, if I choose to ignore the pain, the sadness, the sick and starving children, the orphans and widows, if I choose to ignore them... Ultimately, I am choosing to ignore Jesus. If I see someone hungry or naked, and I don't do something to help, I am turning away Jesus. In James 2, verse 15-17, its says "Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. ¹⁶ If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? ¹⁷ In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." God requires us to be followers with faith AND action.

I do not claim to have it right or to have all the answers, and I certainly don't claim to live this life fully the way God intended. I have a long way to go. I am growing everyday. But I stumble frequently, slip up from time to time. I am a sinner, but I am reaching out for Jesus, and He will take my hand. I don't consider myself an expert on all this, no where near, but I've got my eyes on Him, my eyes are on the goal, and he is calling all of us. He is calling us into faith and to action. We must stand up and move forward to expand the kingdom of God, to give Him His glory, and to live a life of service and submission to our Father! He calls each of us to carry our cross, to lay down our lives, to put away our own human desires, and pick up the desires of Jesus. To walk down that path He is directing us in.

I struggle with this daily, and I think a lot of us sometimes focus too much on the "american dream," with materialism, entertainment, pleasure, self indulgence, money, looks and glamour, etc. Our eyes need to be set on Jesus, not things of this world. When we become a lover and follower of Jesus Christ, there is a change in our hearts, and we begin to see how Jesus sees, how He saw when He was walking on this earth. Its not adequate to just tell someone, "Good luck, it'll all be fine", We are called to take action. To show LOVE. To be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ! He is beckoning us to move. He wants to love in and through YOU. 

From Romans 12, we can see some of the many gifts we may have and how we can serve. ⁶We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; ⁷ if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Matthew 22 37-40: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love your neighbor as yourself. If I don't want myself starving, then I should not want my neighbor starving. I want to be clothed, fed, warm, healthy, loved, etc., then I also should want my neighbors to clothed, fed, warm, healthy, and loved.  Jesus said that whatever you do for the least of these, you have done for Him. If you read Luke 10, verses 25-37 about the good Samaritan, one of the experts in the law asks Jesus who exactly is considered his neighbor. To answer this man's question, Jesus tells the story of the good Samaritan. In the story, a man is beaten and robbed, and left half dead on the side of the road. A priest and a levite passed by, seeing the man, and continued to walk on the other side of the road. But then a Samaritan man approaches the almost lifeless body, he stops with sympathy and compassion. The Samaritan cleans and bandages the beaten man, provides for him a place to stay while he is cared for. Jesus then asks the expert in law which man was like a neighbor to the beaten man. The answer is the Samaritan. Jesus is saying that a neighbor is anyone that needs mercy, compassion, or relief from suffering. A neighbor can be anyone that you come across. You are a neighbor when you care for others and display mercy. Jesus challenges us to "Go and do likewise."

If every Christian in the world looked like me, or looked like you, what would this world look like? Would anyone be bold enough to be Sunday school teachers, to be preachers, or to just stand up a give a testimony or are we too scared, to shy, or a little stubborn sometimes. Afraid of what people will think, scared you'll say something wrong? If all Christians looked like you or me, would anyone be bold enough to tell their friends, their brothers and sisters, their Dad, about the love of Jesus Christ, do we love Him enough, do we love them enough, to tell them, to save them, to introduce them to the Savior and Lord of all creation. If every Christian looked like me or you, would there be any missionaries, would the Good News eventually be forgotten because no one would share it or take it to the nations. Would children grow up, never knowing the name of Jesus, never feeling His embrace? Jesus lives on this earth in and through us. We are called into action, to be a light in this world, to be a neighbor, for Jesus to use us so that He can be a father to the fatherless, using our arms to embrace, our hands to care. What would this world look like? Would there be love and generosity or would we just be content with our comforts, selfishly obsessed with the things of the world? 

We are made to be brave, courageous, noble. And I can't do it on my own. You can't do it on your own. We can't do it alone. That is why He is with us, He is in us, He will give us the words to say, He will give us the strength to stand tall, the strength to keep going, and to pick each other up. He is our rock, our solid ground. We are meant to lay down our lives for the sake of Jesus, and lay down our lives for the brethren. To carry our cross. Every child, is a child of the King. Every child, He calls his own. God is present with us through the Holy Spirit living within us. He uses us! WE are His vessels. When His children are alone and abandoned, He uses YOU and ME to comfort them, to go to them, to take care of them, and to show them the love of the Father. He lives in us, and our hands are the Fathers hands, and He will use us to pick that child up. Defend the poor and the fatherless, Psalm 82:3. And God is a father to the fatherless through us! And if we're not doing it, who is? We are all called. Do we care the way Jesus cares? Are we willing to fight for what is His? Are we willing to be an advocate?

I trip and stumble sometimes. But I'm getting better at keeping my eyes on the goal, my eyes are on Him. Let us take off running in His will, down the path that he has laid out before us, and never look back!

Please watch this video. "Depraved Indifference"- Eric Ludy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWHJ6-YhSYQ

It's been a while (Update)

Well, It has been a while since I've posted, so here is an update and summary of the last year and a half since the last trip to Kenya.

If you read the earlier posted, you know that while in Kenya in 2010, I got engaged to an amazing man named Tim Jarvis. We got married on June 4th, 2011. We were hoping to return to Kenya as our honeymoon and then go visit everyone from past trips but flights were just way to expensive and as you know, weddings aren't too cheap, and neither is living on your own. Welcome to the real world of bills, buying groceries, and no money! But I love it and couldn't be happier... actually... we could because... We are dying to go back to Kenya. Tim is currently a teacher at Maryville Christian School, and I am at LMU trying to wrap up my last year in Nursing. God willing, I will graduate in May!!! I am getting a little impatient as time is going by so slow, but I am ready to hop on a plane and get back to Kenya. Tim and I both feel led to missions. I mean, that is how God brought us together. I went to Kenya for 2 months in 2009 and staying with a beautiful family and volunteered in local school and worked with the children in the safe house. When I got back, I worked at an after school program for kids, where Tim came to visit (he used to work there) and that was the first time we met. So he started emailing me about my trip to Kenya. He said he always felt led to do mission work but wasn't sure of the direction God was calling him in. Some people from his church had been to Brazil which sparked his interest, but he didn't feel like it was quite where God wanted him. We started a email Bible study together, encouraging each other and praying for each other, soon enough we started dating. The following year he went to Kenya. We were both there but he was with a team, where Mom and I were in Kawangware working under another organization. But I did get to go work with his team in Maasai land in Lerujat for about 2 weeks which is where we got engaged. Well I'm getting a little off topic. So back to my point-We want to be used as a vessel, for Jesus to allow little ole' us to be used as His hands and feet. To show the left behind and forgotten orphans and children what love is, so that they may understand love, so that they can learn of the love of Jesus Christ- which is so much deeper and greater than ours could ever be. So this summer, we are working on going back to Kenya on an open ended flight... meaning we don't know when exactly we will come back. We are thinking of one day having an orphanage and a clinic, but we will see how it all unfolds once we get there. So we have a lot of work in front of us, God is continuing to open and close doors right before our eyes. He has been encouraging us and putting people in our lives that we are so thankful for. Waiting to see whats next.

GOOD BYES

I love greeting people, meeting people, getting to know them. But I hate good byes! It is by far the hardest part of this journey. I sit here in this room, I hear the sounds of the beautiful people in this home..the children laughing and playing, and little Sara in the middle of it all, laughing and running and playing. Little Sara. I have known her the least of the time, but will miss her the most of all. Always, a part of my heart will stay with Sara. I'm trying to think of how I will bring all these feelings back to America. I'm wondering if anyone will ever really understand unless they come. You truly can't know unless you dwell here for a bit. I don't think any video or picture can take it all in. To see a little 4 year old streetboy alone, crouched under an eve of a building to keep the rain off at night. To feed two little street girls breakfast one morning and then leave them sitting on the hotel steps, not knowing what will become of them. Then there was the grandma who lost her son-n-law and daughter and she came in from her village to try and take care of her grandbabies with no income and no money to feed them. To leave Bible Baptist and know they have so many needs and trying to figure out where to start??? And to know all these precious people that dedicate their lives to trying to find a place for all these chilren and to educate them when there is no money. And then there's Sara..... Oh dear Heavenly Father... please fill these needs. Bless these people. But most of all, Father, bless and care for these little children! And God... Bless and Guard over sweet baby Sara....
~LOURA

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I can't believe its over... but its not. I will be back. This is where my heart is. I will miss Sara so much, I feel she is my own child. I have done all I can do to love her, pray over her, feed her, kiss her boo boo's, change her diapers, to show her what love is, etc. so that one day she can understand what love is, and that she has a Father who loves her more than I ever could. There is so much work to do. I will be back. This is my calling. To show the love of Jesus. To be His hands and feet. God help me to be obedient.
Jenni

Well this is our last week in Kenya. As many of you know this is my home almost as much as east Tennessee is. There is this two year little girl names Sara that I have recently grown attached to. She is honestly one of the most precious and sweet children I have ever know. She is a new orphan as of about two or three weeks ago when her mother died, leaving behind Sara and her 9 month old baby brother. This week I have been and will be taking care of her: bathing her, feeding her, changing her diapers, loving and playing with her, and she even is sleeping with me. Spending so much time with her, she just seems so sad. She may smile from time to time when I get her belly or throw her in the air or make silly noises and dances, but other than that, she is so idle, just sitting. She seems so alone and so helpless. It breaks my heart to imagine her out on the streets with so many of the other orphans, just idle, sniffing glue, stealing, sleeping on the streets, starving. So in comparison to them, she is a very lucky little girl. She is at Afwai's house with us until they move her to the safe house with the other children. These are the children that I am here for, the orphans, that is where my heart is right now. The ones that God says to care for. And there are so so so many. I love this little girl so much.

                                                         My sweet Sara...

This week we are back at Fred and Alice's house. Yesterday mom and I spent the day at Candle Light teaching CRE... teaching about Moses and Pharoah and teaching the Pharoah Pharoah, Oh baby, let my people go, Ooooo, Yea Yea Yea Yea song and dance. It was really fun. Then came back to eat and take care of the sweet babies. Today and tomorrow, Alice is taking mom door to door to pray with people and invite them to church while I stay at the house and watch the babies with Nellie, the house girl, then at evening when the safe house kids get home from school, we will be doing crafts and games with them. Then Thursday we are going to San Dota School to visit and then to take pictures of construction site of the new school. Friday we will go back to Candle Light and say goodbye. Then there is the weekend, then we leave Monday morning. I miss home, I won't lie, but i will miss it here too so very much more. I was reading another girl's blog yesterday, and she is young,I think 21. God called her to Uganda full time. She had planned on only staying one year to teack Kindergarten and then going back from time to time, but now she is there full time. She left her family, disappointed them, hurt her little brother, left and lost the love of her life, quit school, quit her job, quit her American comfort, all to carry her cross and obey God. She said it was hard and is hard, but she doesn't regret it and never will because God's love is so wonderful, and He is always there for her, encouraging her and comforting her, and she knows that one day she will be rewarded with eternal life in heaven with her Lord. She has a huge heart for those precious little children. She started a children's home and now she calls her self a single mother of 14 girls and in the process of adopting them all. She began a non profit orgnization and has sponsors for her kids plus many more for feeding programs, school fees, and medical care. I was very encouraged with all that she had to say, and all her work for God. She sacrificed herself, her comfort, her life, and gave it ALL to the Lord. God spoke to me through her. I am still not committed enough. I am still too comfortable. I am NOT doing everything I can to live my life for God. No one is perfect, but we can still do more, try harder, be more generous, commit more of our live to God. I know it's something I am praying about and will be working towards. I don't know where God is leading me or what exactly my calling is, but whatever it is, I want to fully commit my life to God. One thing this girl said that I can relate to and know what partially what she means is this:

"A few days ago an American woman who had spent about three days of her life in a third world country looked at me and said, “I would SO love to do what you do. I would do it in a heartbeat. Oh, I would take 14 kids in a second!” It is a good thing that I was having a graceful day, because I said, “Aw that’s nice.” But my not so graceful heart was angry. And the not so graceful voice in my head wanted to say to her, “Ok then, do it. I can have you 14 orphaned, abandoned, uncared for children tomorrow. So here is what you have to do: Quit school. Quit your job. Sell your stuff. Disobey and disappoint your parents. Break your little brother’s heart. Lose all but about a handful of friends because the rest of them think you have gone off the deep end. Break up with the love of your life. Move to a country where you know one person and none of the language. And when you are finished, I will be here waiting with your 14 children!” I wanted to ask her what was stopping her, knowing that the answer would be her comfort. I wanted to look at her and tell her that my life was full and joyful and WONDERFUL, but I also wanted to tell her to COUNT THE COST. Because my life IS full and joyful and wonderful, but it is NOT easy. My life is NOT glamorous. I do not expect it to be. I do not think that anything about carrying a cross was easy or glamorous either.

Which brings me to my point. I am not actually that angry about what that woman said, it was just an offhanded comment. But it got me to thinking… How many times to we grieve our sweet Savior’s heart because we refuse to COUNT THE COST? How many times do we choose comfort instead of the cross"

She also says "I do not claim to have the answers. I do not claim to be doing it right. I do claim to believe that the words of Jesus are absolutely true and apply to me, right now today. I want to give EVERYTHING, no matter the cost. NO MATTER THE COST. Because I believe that nothing is sacrifice in light of eternity with Christ. (Katie Davis)"

I don't know how many times I've heard "Your doing a good thing" or "I appreciate what your doing" or "If I could, I would do that too"... and thought the same exact thing this girl did. "Then do it" or do something. I know not everyone is called to go to the other side of the world, but everyone can still take their part and help out, even if its just a little bit. I would really like for anyone that has time to visit her blog, it is really encouraging for me and may be encouraging to you. I'm just thinking, what would this world look like if every true Christian really gave their life up for living for the glory of Jesus Christ, to carry their cross, to love Him with all they are, to love their neighbors as them self, to GO and make disciples of all nations, care for the less fortunate, the orphans and the widows! What would this world look like if every Christian looked like you? Think about is.


 If any one is interested in reading Katies blog.. this is the link:

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2010/02/she-was-eighteen-years-old-and-she-had.html

Back at Kawangware, preparing to head back to USA

(Post by Loura, my Mom)
We have had an awesome few weeks back here at Bible Baptist in Kawangware!! We have taught, done alot of crafts, sang a lot of songs, shot some hoops, jumped some rope, worshipped with the kids, worshipped with the teachers and worshipped with the family! We finally got to meet the rest of Pastor Edward and Alice's children last weekend. They took us to meet their two oldest daughters at their universities and we had a great visit with them. Their oldest son, Stephen, had been home from High School previously to visit. So we have finally met them all!!! They are a great family!

In eleven days, we will be home. Today we said goodbye to most of the kids at Bible Baptist. We will see some of them tomorrow... some come on Saturday, but they have a Friday worship and Jenni and I got up to speak today and could hardly say anything because we were both crying. We just love them all so much!! We will be returning to Kayole and Pastor Fred and Alice on Sunday evening to go to visit Sandota and the new building site this week. We are hoping to get by and visit Carolyn's daughter, Emmanuella one more time! We have a few loose ends to tie up and some goodbyes to say, and then we will once again cross the big pond back to America. We both have so many things and soooo many pictures to share. We made a video last week that we tried and tried to upload on this blog site in hope that everyone could feel firsthand what it was like to stand outside the Bible Baptist compound and enter its gates. We made a quick visit to a couple of classrooms, but they were empty! We walked toward the church to find Pastor Edward and Alice outside the doors, waiting on us. After introducing them, we entered the church where the kids were attending their weekly worship and testimony time. It is a beautiful and precious time! I really wanted everyone to hear their beautiful voices!! It would make you cry! It is like the sound of angels. It really is! BUT, we just could not get that video to upload, no matter how hard we tried. We tried to email it to Pastor Jeff, and even tried getting it onto face book, but it would go nowhere!! So I guess it is to be shared later!!

We miss you all! We will miss our sweet Kenya children and our Kenya families, but we are now ready to be home. Leaving is hard and we hate, hate saying our goodbyes, but we are ready to come home and rest a bit and then get hard to work!! Like I said, we have much to share and there is so very much to be done. I hope that everyone is ready to roll up their sleeves, again, and get in there with us on this!!

Kwaheri !!Loura

Maasai Land - Engagement - Truck wreck

Had an awesome last two weeks with the Maasai tribe in Lerujet which is about 2 hours from Nairobi, far from busy streets, crowded slums, and civilization. Sleeping in houses called manyatas made of sticks, grass, mud, and cow dung. And working with the kids in the school… the school in a long process to come called Meeyu Academy (means ever flowing spring)... currently a school under a tree with only two benches to sit on. There are around 20 kids or so and they are great. They come from surrounding bomas. Most of the kids are from the age of 3 to 6, and then one at the age of 15. All in “Pre-unit” or preschool together learning. Most have never been to school, and if so, in the past they walked very far to the closest school in town… I know Elizabeth leaves at 6 for school that begins at 8:30. So maybe 2 hours to walk there. The teacher, named Jude, is only out of high school with dreams of becoming a doctor, but he was the only willing one to teach, but he is doing a great job with the small children. They are so intelligent. They already know their mother tongue or their tribe’s language, but now they are already learning Swahili and English. Its crazy. Most of them know the alphabet, and can count to ten, some to 100. Jacklyn, the 15 year old girl, I have been working with a lot. She can almost write her name by herself. Wow does this girl have a story. She was circumcised just a few years ago, and after she healed, she was able to be given away to be married at any time, but her father who is maybe 70 or 75 can hardly take care of him self, and most of his wives except maybe 1, have passed away, leaving him with many many children to take care of on his own. Jacklyn and her older sister who is married now have to take care of all the children and their father and the cattle and goats and washing and cooking and everything. But luckily she is now able to learn, and expand her knowledge, and Im so happy that God is working in her life. She has not been married off yet which makes me happy because she is so young and now she has an opportunity for an education which in that culture, it gives her a little more freedom and say so with her own life. Anyways the school is great. Syd got them some wood and her and Bonnie made a chalk board out of it, painted it, and got some chalk. It is awesome what they are able to get accomplished and learn out here with out even a school building. But they really do need one. They carry everything to school everyday, the chalk board, chairs, books, etc, which isn’t far from their homes, maybe the length of a football field for most, some walk about a mile, but still. Then sun is scorching hot, and there are always distractions all around. Tim and I have funny crazy farmer’s tans, and a little bit of sunburns. Also, many of the kids are on different levels, the little bitty one who know nothing, and the 6 year olds who know most all the answers. So it is hard to teach, they need to really be separated. Syd’s goal is to build maybe two classrooms a year so that each year the children who need to advance, can advance, and bring in more younger kids into school from the beginning, beginning with next year. She wanted to start this summer but the funds never came, and now said she notices that that was her plan and not God’s. HIS plan is that this year is about building relationships. There is me, Syd, Tim, Bonnie, and four other women that are came. The building relationships part is wonderful and fun, and her goal is to get people attached and build deep relationships together and with God, and when we all come home, we will have a heart for the needs and work together in our different towns and cities to raise for project. Which I know I have a heart for these people, but I also have a heart for Bible Baptist. But one thing that I have really learned in Maasai land is how to more intimately pray and worship. I love how they do it. They sing with all their heart, they dance, clap, jump, shout in prayer, and every time I get chill bumps… or God bumps. Its just the most awesome thing. Every time I worship with them, I just feel the Holy Spirit moving and I feel renewed. I was there last year but only for about 3 or 4 days… and Its crazy that I thought that I was coming back here to share Gods word and the Good News and be a witness, which maybe I did, but for me I feel like a gained more than I gave. But I really hope that God is working something for their school and church.

On Sunday, July 20th… I had a really happy day! We had an amazing church service, a late church service that lasted till about 3 and then we came back to the boma and they had slaughtered 2 goats for a feast. A “Welcoming celebration” for the visitors.. As I was told…! So the mommas of the boma told me that the youngest there (which was me) would be given a gift.. And at the end, the oldest would be given a gift. HA! So they told me that I was to be blessed with maasai clothing and jewelry and so they took me into a manyata, and began to dress me traditionally. Then they put this necklace on me… which I remembered seeing one like it last year that was similar, and I was told that it was a ceremony necklace… like an engagement/wedding necklace. Then it hit me. J I then knew what was coming then. After a few minutes of everyone sticking their head in the door and taking pictures, Tim came in. Then my dad was on the phone with Syd. He was put on speaker phone so he could listen to everything. Mom came in and sat down. Then pastor Peter began talking about joining two people, and something about engagement and something about marriage. And I began to tear up and I don’t remember much of what was said after that. Then I saw Tim come towards me and he put a necklace on my that symbolized that he loves me and that he chose me to be his future wife. Then he got down on one knee and proposed and asked if I would also choose him and marry him. And of course I said yes with tears going down my face. And he gave me a pretty giraffe ring to wear here. Its sweet. Then we all went outside and celebrated. There was singing and dancing and cake and goat meat and chapati and sodas. Then Tim and I took a walk and sat down to watch the sun set. Then we made a few phone calls back home and went back. It was so great. It was a wonderful day. Thank you Tim. And thank you God for bringing me such a Christian and wonderful guy that loves you so much and is a spiritual leader.

Late last night a child from a different boma ran crying and screaming to where we were staying asking us to come with the cars up the road, that there had been a wreck. So we jumped in the cars with the first aid kits and flew there. It was a big truck.. But a school truck. There was a whole 6th grade class in the back of the truck, about 40 or 50 of them, there were only two benches along the side and the rest of them were standing holding on to the rail, and the truck went of the road and flipped on the side and dumped all the kids out. When we got there all I could hear was screaming and moaning and crying. It was awful. I couldn’t help but to cry with them. I did not know what to do. I just squatted down and hugged some of the girls and cried with them and prayed over them. Syd began to pick out some of the worst ones and had some of the men carry them in to the van to take them to the hospital. There was one girl that my heart broke for. She was on her side moaning and crying, and when they began to pick her up she fell limp. I thought she was gone. I was so scared, I was crying. The young girls began smacking her face and she woke up, she had just passed out for about ten seconds. And she began to cry and scream again. We all continued to load up the worst injured. Many probably with broken arms and legs, back injuries and head injuries. Tim and I began going around with the first aid kid cleaning up blood and cuts and small wounds. Put some antibiotic ointment and bandages on them where needed. And then I went and hugged and prayed with some of the girls while Tim and another guy continued helping with injuries. It was a very long and scary night. I know when the kids did not come home on time their parents had to be so worried. And I just ask you all to pray for the kids and their families because I know many are burdened with high hospital bills and some are probable burdened with nightmares.

The day after the wreck